Hallucinations

That partial of her name was enough to lay siege on my weak soul. Now that I have reinitiated contact with this girl, only the partial of the name remained intact. Fantasies remained as fantasies, with the intrusion of reality, fantasies will be shattered. Fantasies originate from man's imaginations, when imaginations fail. Man feels distraught. Tis' not a bad thing, lest man falls eternally without struggle into his dreams. I wish not to have the same delusions as Icarus have, Daedalus need not have the last laugh (Though he did warn Icarus. I suggest out of care rather than jealousy.). My fascination for this girl still holds true after the passing of many years when compared to the years I have lived, 3 years is a long time when you only lived 17.

There were several... Oddities that I remember distinctly that had happened. All while I was Form 1, because the contact was lost when I was form two. One of them was the lack of audible communication. We rarely spoke. Communication was via a notebook with letters scribbled all over it, I don't remember 80% of what was written, but I do remember I asked her very often (And she to me) whether she wanted sweets, she likes chewing gum for some odd reason. She also brings along some to share, sometimes. If the notebook was still here no doubt it will just evoke a sense of pointless melancholic valour in me. I accept the lost of the memories contained in those papers because I wanted to move on. Seeing her again makes me want to slap myself for losing that small pocketbook. Contradictory? I guess so. I'm like that.

The second one was my constant infatuation with her... errr... Hair. It's weird, but it is the first thing that I notice when I meet anyone of the opposite gender, if she doesn't have nice hair, I stay away. This particular girl was the only one or my peer-age of which the hair I touched. I sound borderline psychotic now. *Mad Laugh*. Of which I actually requested to touch her hair, and proceeded to ask what would've happen if I didn't ask. Now that I think of it, I am crazy. I wonder if I'm cured now. :P

Guess what. I met her again. I even got her phone number, but I dare not approach. Dangerous little game I'm trying to play, especially when I have the mental capacity of a hamster, minus the cuteness. Will my brain end up as a tiny prune when I get all the emotional and intellgence berjabbles drained out of me? I'm such a peabrain. Someone pray tell me that it's normal to find someone you really like but is (Somewhat) unreachable, because I have such an inferiority complex.