Hallucinations

Well, after a few months of inactivity, I suddenly felt the urge to write something, from DotA Fanfics to my own (Fanfic) and this blog. Mostly due to my ignorance on the amount I'm actually writing both on paper and electronically. Therefore I'm going to make up for my lack of updates on this blog, at least for a month... I assume that by forcing myself to update this place every few days, I might eventually gain the habit of posting regularly (Hopefully). I might even get some people in here (Unlikely). Although, sadly, this place is devoid of people, it is still the space of which the tranquilities* of my life are written, only through literature (AHEM~!) I can immortalize my thoughts, even though I might soon forget what I thought so many years ago or blogging may go out of trend, my little corner of this 8932786453 sided polygon called internet might still be here (Baseless assumption.).

*: A footnote in a blog? That's really weird. I justify the word "tranquility" (Maybe "happy" might be more apt) by not making posts which record my dismay and/or disagreement on the fairness of life. Who ever claimed life was fair anyways.However tranquil and clear my thoughts are. However smart or however high is my Emotional Quotient, I heavily doubt that I can completely ignore the lopsided fairness of life, I can, however, live with it (Once again, hopefully.).

BMTribute has failed, I've decided to ditch the project as people nowadays are very much more resourceful than I have thought. The BMSes that I release are mostly already quite old and dispersed through the net via more accesible means than a solo user and a crappy file hosting service (A rant, Yousendit sucks.). So instead of posting in BMT, I've decided to post here instead, featuring not much of constructive intellectual property other than yours truly. I have also decided, in a flurry of thoughts when I was sitting there so amazingly quiet on my bed thinking about the temperature, that I should change the direction I'm trying to take in this blog, I've always wanted to document my short periods of ego enchancing (or the opposite) moments in my life. Perhaps not the best way to attract readers, but with this cutesy space so devoid of visitors, I doubt it can get any worse (They can't possibly give me negative visitor counts, can they?). Why bother myself with the concept "The more the merrier"?

In the last few weeks I did not play any online games, not O2, not RO, not any other combinations of capital alphanumeric letters. What I did play was Defence of the Ancients with my (Really noobish) Classmates, I owned them, for a few matches, before they gained the newfound knowledge that power is in numbers. I got owned backwards till my pelvis ached from the constant falls off my chair on the floor due to the fact that I'm actually being owned till the point of scariness (Did I suck or did they rock?). Now I'm planning my revenge, I shall improve my communication skills to achieve a higher level of teamwork to conquer their equivalent. I don't think it's actually possible though, I really suck at this particular aspect of team oriented games. Nonetheless, I hope Dota might actually improve my mentality as a player and a gamer, multiplayer games highly depend on teamwork, which is exactly what I lack.

Last week, on Saturday (Friday in the states), I returned to my dearest arcade and the one cabinet I started visiting arcades for: EZ2DJ. It is still the best beatgame I've played so far and it still has the highest integrity of the Holy Trinity principle* of beatgames (Visuals, Music and Artistic Values). To my dismay my skills did not improve. As my skills in O2 has reached it's plateau, so is the fate of my Ez2dj skills (I feared as much). I did not feel sad, nor did I feel disappointed, for it is just a game that I enjoy, not by conquering it, but because of the sheer joy of being able to listen to some quality music (I cannot resist the urge to move my body to the music though) and being able to appreciate the existence of this particular machine, to have contributed much to my memories and experience (In life), this machine had given me some dear friends (A and B are my dearest friends, you know who you are), a few onlookers (N, H, R, Y, just to name a few), a few ememies (I wish not to name any), and most important of all, it gave me a reason to dance when no one's looking, the appreciation of music I savour now, the attention to detail when I face a crisis. It's quite amazing what an arcade machine can bring to you. I thank music, all music, to have brought me up a perfectly fine young gentleman. I also truly and sincerely thank A for providing me with such music, and B for providing an alternative insight into my own life. I hope both of you receives my silent wishes of your wellbeing.

*:The Trinity is a pseudo-theory of mine, not proven and not universally true, but I hold on to my beliefs that The Trinity is what makes a beatgame playable and enjoyable.

Roadworks. This Monday, work was carried out by the DBKL (Something like a town municipal, I think) to put trees down on the road towards the main street at my place, mainly due to the tree's tendency to bend over and hump the ground on a weekly basis (When there's rain and winds, obviously). I've always appreciated the clean and fresh air that I breathe in and exhale every morning when I head to school, I've always taken it for granted, what I smell now is the smell of rotting green. (As the people that cut down the trees are imprudent enough to leave the foilage there till this point of time.) I do not understand the sadness I feel when I see the bare trunks of these trees, nor do I understand the fact that I feel compassion for trees. I've always thought that trees were a blessing, shielding me from the harsh sun above the equator, giving out oxygen. I never appreciated them. I never thanked them, nor did I ever touched any one of them. I did it once this morning in the deafening silence of darkness (6.30 AM, The sun does not rise early in Malaysia.) and I felt... There were no tingly sensations, no fresh air, no gentle coolness. Nothing that I felt just in the presence of a tree before was present. I do not know what should I feel from this, but I felt a sadness tugging at my thoughts to return to the trees. I did not stay for long in the presence of these deformed trunks. I went to school.

That is where I'm going to end today's update, the sudden change in emotion for this article was because of the lengthened time I spent on this particular post. I cannot bring myself to ignore these feelings of sadness that get sparked at the littlest of problems, but I can accept these emotions as proof that I am only human, the thought bring some peace and tranquility to my mind.

As I have mentioned earlier, I will continue to update this place, if I don't, feel free to bombard me with nudges on MSN or crazy spams in my e-mail inbox. :P